How to Identify Energy Vampires and Protect Your Energy

Energy vampires are people who drain your emotional, physical and/or spiritual energy – this can be in person, over the phone or even via your social media feed. They thrive on your willingness to listen, encourage and comfort them through their endless drama. The tricky part is that, energy vampires may operate unintentionally in your inner circle and are usually disguised as friends, family members, co-workers or even as a significant other. 

It's important to recognize when you’re in the presence of an energy vampire and to swiftly remove yourself from such situations. If you’re a person who does a lot of inner work and spends time cultivating your inner peace, then energy vampires tend to be drawn to you because they want what you have BUT are not willing to do the work to get it. So, what’s the easy way out for an energy vampire? – They find someone like you, who’s oozing out positive energy and feed off of it. The problem with this approach is that, after interacting with you, the energy vampire walks away feeling inspired and rejuvenated, but leaves you feeling drained and exhausted. 

So how do you distinguish between an energy vampire and a friend who’s just going through a rough patch? Here are some of the things I’ve learnt on my growth journey… 

1.  Energy vampires are always b*tching and moaning about something 

Whether it’s about work, a relationship or the economy, an energy vampire has drama and negativity engrained in them. They refuse to see the part they played in their current circumstances and want to talk about their situation endlessly.  

Notes to self: 

• You can pivot any conversation to a positive topic or completely remove yourself from it. 

•  You don’t have to be a cooperative component in useless chatter. 

• Clean up your social media feed by muting, unfollowing or blocking energy vampires.

2.  The relationship with an energy vampire is usually one-sided 

When it comes to lending a shoulder to cry on, it'll always be you lending the shoulder to an energy vampire. You’ll find that when you reach out to them in a crisis, you don’t receive the same level of support and attention. 

Notes to self:

• Unless you are someone’s therapist, you have no obligation to repeatedly listen to their bullsh*t. 
• You have the power to choose what you feed your mind. Choose positivity. 

 

3.  You always feel tired, guilty or demotivated after interacting with an energy vampire 

When you realize that someone is draining your energy, immediately limit the number of calls you take from that person….and if you must interact with them, keep it as short and as focused as possible. In addition, decline invites to spend time with these kinds of people. 

My coach always reminds me that “Whilst other people were sleeping, I was reading, reflecting, and working on myself.” So, don’t let those who are not working on themselves have a negative impact on what you’ve worked so hard to cultivate. 

Notes to self:

• Establish boundaries. 

• You don’t have to answer every phone call that reaches your cell.

• You don’t have to spend time with people who drain your energy. 

• It’s okay to just say “Sorry, I can’t make it” or “I can’t take your call right now”….and here’s the beauty of it - You don’t have to justify yourself. 

Remember: You can protect your energy and still be a loving and compassionate person. 

- Cultured Finesse